


Take My Wonder

by simeysgirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bars and Pubs, Blow Jobs, Erotica, Established Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Felching References, H/D Sex Fair 2020, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Humor, M/M, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Theodore Nott/Ginny Weasley, Misunderstandings, Post-Hogwarts, Secret Identity, Smut, Writer Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:42:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simeysgirl/pseuds/simeysgirl
Summary: Harry Potter is the author of very well-written children's text books. Joshua Starkweather is the author of not-so-well-written erotic fiction. Only one person knows that they are one and the same.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 32
Kudos: 365
Collections: 2020 Harry/Draco Sex Fair





	Take My Wonder

**Author's Note:**

> For Prompt #[15](https://hd-fan-fair.livejournal.com/180981.html?thread=5283573#t5283573).
> 
> My eternal thanks, as ever, to D for everything.

Harry heard Draco's key in the door and quickly shut his laptop. He wasn't getting anywhere today, anyway. He desperately needed some inspiration, and, for that, he needed Draco.

“Honey, I'm home!”

Harry laughed. He should never have introduced Draco to old American sitcoms.

“I'm in the study!” Harry shouted down the stairs.

Harry tidied his desk, ensuring all of his notes were hidden away, and grabbed the scrolls Hermione had dropped off yesterday. When cold lips kissed his cheek, Harry couldn't help shivering.

“How's the book coming along?” Draco asked, wrapping his arms around Harry's shoulders. “Goblin wars of the 1500s—not my cup of tea, but you do you.”

Harry coughed. “It's coming together; I just need to finalise some details.”

“Can I help?” Draco asked, running his hands down Harry's chest.

Harry choked. “You can definitely help.”

You see, Harry had a secret. He was an author; he wasn't lying about that. And he will crank out the next instalment of what Draco affectionately called his 'children's sleep aids' that was his 'official' job. It's just not what made him happy. Or much money.

Harry also wrote under the nom de plume Joshua Starkweather. And Joshua Starkweather didn't write textbooks. He wrote erotic fiction. To be more precise, highly pornographic stories about two twenty-something wizards and their incredibly exciting sex life.

Only one person knew that Harry and Joshua were one and the same. It wasn't Draco.

Harry wasn't embarrassed by what he wrote; on the contrary, he was very proud every time one of his books hit the shops and outsold every other book in the genre. He knew it wasn't very high-brow, or very well written, but it sold and sold well. He just didn't think Draco would appreciate the fact that every single one of the sex acts he wrote were taken directly from their bedroom.

Hermione appreciated it a lot. Being his publisher, she made a pretty Galleon off him.

“What can I do?”

Harry swivelled his chair around and pulled Draco down onto his lap. “Take my mind off Goblin Wars of the 1500s?”

Draco smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt.

~

_As Anthony slowly shed his clothes, Steve followed with his mouth. Kissing, nibbling and licking every inch of his beautifully pale skin as it was uncovered. Once Anthony was shirtless, Steve lifted him off of his lap and onto the desk, swatting Anthony's hands away and quickly undoing his trousers._

_“Gorgeous,” Steve said as he took out Anthony's hard member, unable to take his eyes off of the drop of moisture glistening at the tip._

_Anthony carded his hands through Steve's blond locks. “It's not just for looking at.”_

_Steve laughed once before giving into the urge and licking the bead of pre-come. At Anthony's gasp, Steve took the throbbing cock fully into his mouth, not stopping until it hit the back of his throat._

_Steve loved sucking Anthony's cock. He loved the velvety feel on his tongue. He loved the taste of Anthony. He absolutely loved the noises Anthony made as he came down his throat._

~

“Does Draco know you think his cock is 'velvety'?” Hermione laughed as she read Harry's latest transcript. “How you sell any books is beyond me.”

“They eat that shit up and you know it.” Harry sent a tiny stinging hex at his best friend and publisher. “And it's not Draco.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow. Harry shrugged. He had no argument and they both knew it.

“Are you ever going to tell him? He can't seriously think you make your money writing textbooks.”

Harry chuckled. “Not a chance. Despite the fact that _that—_ ” Harry gestured to the papers in Hermione's hands. “—literally happened on my desk last week, can you imagine his reaction to my writing this crap? He likes the fact that I write the books the kids are studying from these days.”

“Well, you _do_ write those as well.”

Harry rolled his eyes. Hermione was desperate for him to 'come out' as Joshua. _'Imagine the sales!'_ was a favourite refrain.

As much as he was proud of his sales, Harry was slightly worried about what Draco would think of his other job. Draco had mellowed incredibly since they were in school, and wasn't so high and mighty, but he still had an air of pride about him. Finding out his boyfriend wasn't just the respectable author of history textbooks, but peddler of what was basically porn—he might find that difficult to stomach. And that wasn't taking into account that it was _their_ sex life in print.

“Okay, fine. Let's get this meeting finished up. Are you and Draco still coming tonight?”

“Of course. Wouldn't miss it. It's not often we're all in town at the same time. It'll be good to see everyone. And Draco said Theo and Ginny are home from America, so he's looking forward to catching up.”

“Great! How are you getting on with the Goblin Wars?”

Harry shrugged. “Right on track. It should be on your desk by the deadline.”

Writing textbooks was simply gathering information and collating it into words that wouldn't bore children to tears. After all the research he had done with Ron and Hermione in school, it came easy to Harry, and he enjoyed the feeling that the kids in Hogwarts wouldn't be stuck with the terrible books he had had to study from.

“And this one?” Hermione shook the papers in her hand. “The people are desperate for more Anthony and Steve.”

“Another couple of chapters and I'm done. Just need to find some inspiration for the ending.”

Hermione handed Harry the papers. “You'd better get home to Draco, then.”

Harry threw a slightly harsher stinging hex at her and went for the floo.

~

The pub was packed by the time Harry and Draco arrived. Harry couldn't see any of their friends.

“We should have left earlier,” Harry said, petulantly.

Draco elbowed him in the side. “Next time you get horny, you can suck your own dick.”

“Ah, the dream. Wouldn't need you at all then.”

Draco kissed him, quick and hard. “But I'm so much better at it than you.”

Harry laughed and kissed him back. It was hard to argue with the truth.

“Harry! Draco!” was shouted from the back of the pub. Harry could just spy the bright ginger hair of his best friend. Luckily, some people still were awed at Harry's presence, and they quickly made it through the throngs of people to reach their friends.

After a melee of hugs, handshakes and fist bumps, Harry and Draco were finally seated with a pint each, ready for a night that would inevitably include too much alcohol and embarrassing stories.

“What time is Theo getting here?” Draco asked.

Ron rolled his eyes. “They got waylaid by my mum, fussing over something or other. If they're not here soon, I'll go and rescue them.”

“No need!” Pansy said, pointing at the couple making their way through the crowd.

Theo and Ginny had only been gone for a year, but it was good to have their friend group back together again.

“Sorry we're late,” Ginny said, pushing Theo into a seat and perching herself on his lap.

“Molly saw some books in Ginny's bag and wouldn't shut up about them.”

Ginny shivered and put her hand over her husband's mouth. “I'm going to need a lot of alcohol before I can relive that.”

“Intriguing,”' Hermione said as shots of Firewhiskey were dished out. “Get these down you, then.”

A few rounds of pints, maybe too many shots, and some much needed chips later, talk turned from the general catch up to the teasing and bantering that only came from a group of friends that had been together for years.

“So,” Draco prodded Ginny in the arm. “What was up with Molly and why did you need booze?”

“'I never thought I'd see the day when my little old lady of a mother—a grandmother, at that—is asking me to explain what felching is.”

Everyone at the table gaped at Ginny and Theo. Draco silently pushed two more shots in their direction.

“Wait, what?” Ron was paler than normal. “Did you just say—”

“You heard me correctly; don't make me say it again.”

“Maybe start at the beginning?” Hermione prompted.

Ginny groaned and put her face in her hands. Harry patted her on the head.

“There's this new writer who has burst on the scene in the states. I picked up a book one afternoon and got hooked. Mum saw one of the books in my bag and wouldn't stop talking about it. I didn't know they were so popular over here and I definitely didn't think my bloody mother would be reading them.”

“What's so bad about the books?” Draco asked, confusion evident on his face. “And what's felching got do with it?”

“Well—” Ginny blushed slightly before straightening her shoulders. “—they're, for lack of a better word, porn. More specifically, gay porn. And quite graphic. Hence, Mum wondering if I knew what felching was.”

“You read gay porn?” Ron asked his sister. “Why?”

“It's hot as hell. Hermione, I don't want to hear a lecture about how 'it's fetishising gay people', okay?”

Hermione laughed. “Like I would, or could. I publish some of it.”

Harry glared at her, willing her to shut up. Why wasn't he any good at legilimency?

“Really?”

“Yes, he's been on the bestsellers list for an entire year. His sales have helped our mortgage to be paid off.”

Ron raised his glass. “Merlin bless, Joshua Starkweather!”

Harry felt his stomach plummet to the floor as Ginny excitedly pointed at Ron.

“You wouldn't be saying that if Mum had asked you about the stuff he writes about!”

The table erupted with laughter, apart from Harry, who was trying to make himself as small as possible in his chair.

“You're not a prude, are you, Potter?” Theo teased and Draco almost spat out his drink, quickly covering it with his napkin.

“I can promise you that is _definitely_ not the case, Nott.” Draco waggled his eyebrows and put his arm around Harry's shoulder. “I highly doubt any book could stand up to what we get up to in private. For instance, the other day, Harry surprised me at work. Never thought a potions store room could be a turn on, but Harry did this thing with—”

“Malfoy!” “Draco!” “TMI!” was shouted from multiple directions.

“Hey, I'm just speaking the truth,” Draco said, pulling Harry in for a quick and dirty kiss.

“I'm sure Harry doesn't want his sex life aired for everyone to gawk at,” Ron argued.

Harry almost fell off his chair at the burst of laughter that bubbled out of him.

“Thanks, Ron, but it's fine,” he finally said, getting himself under control.

“So, Hermione, what's he like?” Ginny said, leaning towards her sister-in-law. “You must have met him?”

Harry refused to look at Hermione. He could only imagine the grin she had on her face.

“Of course! And he's just like one of us. He's our age, actually.”

“Where did he go to school? I don't remember any Starkweathers at Hogwarts,” Pansy said.

If anyone knew the ins and outs of who attended school with them, it was Pansy,

Hermione shook her head. “It's written into his contract that I don't discuss him in public. No specifics, anyway.”

“You just told us his age,” Theo said with a frown on his face. “Won't you get in trouble?”

“Don't be daft,” Ron said with a laugh. “Who's going to tell him?”

Harry was going to strangle Hermione with her own hair.

~

_Steve woke slowly, relishing the feeling of Anthony's naked arse against his engorged member. They'd been out the night before, and Steve was always a little more energetic after a few drinks, so it wouldn't take much to slide into his boyfriend. Anthony would still be full of come and lube and the thought excited Steve. He trailed his hand down Anthony's sleep-warmed skin and slipped a finger into his well-used hole, groaning when it easily slid in._

_Steve couldn't help himself and, determined to wake his boyfriend, started licking and kissing Draco's neck._

~

“For Merlin's sake, Harry. You literally have Draco's name in place of Anthony!”

Harry blushed and grabbed the papers out of Hermione's hands. “Just a momentary lapse.”

“Still hot, though.”

Harry rolled his eyes at her and made for the Floo.

~

A couple of nights later, Harry managed to keep his dick to himself, so he and Draco actually got to the pub to meet everyone before the crowds. The only person already at their table was Pansy and she didn't even notice their arrival. She was too engrossed in her book.

Harry paled. He knew that cover. He'd chosen it himself. The crossed wands had made him laugh when he was presented with the options for his latest cover, so he'd picked it. And now it was there, out in the open, in his friend's hand.

“Pans? Good book?” Draco kissed the cheek Pansy offered up, but she didn't put the book down.

Pansy held up one finger, and finished reading the page, before looking up at Harry and Draco.

“Sorry, sorry,” Pansy said, bookmarking her page and stowing the book in her bag. “I needed to finish that bit.”

“What is it?”' Draco asked, leaning over to try and look into her bag. “Never seen you so engrossed in something that wasn't a fashion magazine.”

“Fuck off,” Pansy said, downing her wine and fanning her face with the beer mat. “Ginny had me interested, so I popped into Flourish at lunchtime and picked one of the felching books up.”

Harry hadn't heard his books described quite like that before, but he couldn't fault her. It was one of Steve and Anthony's favourite things to do. And Harry and Draco, but that was simply coincidental, if anyone asked.

It wasn't long before the rest of the group turned up and Harry was mortified to realise _he_ was the hot topic. Not that anyone, except Hermione, knew it was him, but still.

“So you're all reading these Starkweather books?” Draco said with a frown. “I feel left out.”

“I'm not!” Ron cheerfully said, lifting his glass to Draco's.

“Seriously, what am I missing?” Draco asked the group at large. “I was under the impression it was badly written, unrealistic stories simply written to wet the knickers of middle aged women. Sorry, Ginny.”

Ginny simply showed him her middle finger.

“Here,” Pansy said, reaching into her bag for the book. “I'll read you some.”

“That's not really necessary.” Harry tried, knowing it was probably futile as most of the table turned their attention to Pansy.

Pansy waved her hand at Harry and opened the book. “Let me see, let me see. Ah, here we go.

_“Steve quietly unlocked the bathroom door, to find Anthony checking his hair in the mirror._

_'Occupied!' Anthony quickly shouted, before he noticed it was his boyfriend._

_'You will be in a moment,' Steve growled out, slipping into the bathroom and relocking the door._

_'You are insatiable,' Anthony said with a laugh. 'You know they're all going to know what we're up to in here.'_

_'Do I look like I care?' Steve bit out, crowding his boyfriend against the sink and quickly undoing Anthony's trousers. 'I want you to stand right there and look at how beautiful your face is in the mirror as you're being eaten out. I'm going to lick you open and then I'm going to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to keep quiet. Unless you have any objections.'_

_Anthony groaned and gripped the sink harder as his boyfriend dropped to his knees, taking his trousers and pants with him.”_

Draco coughed and Harry patted him on the back. _Shit shit shit._

“Alright, alright; I think that's enough,” Harry said, cutting her off. “There might be kids about.”

Pansy raised an eyebrow and pointedly looked around the very adult crowd in the bar.

“Fine,” she said, rolling her eyes and putting the book away. “Draco, you can have it when I'm finished.”

“No, it's okay. It seems to be like I thought: badly written drivel. I'll give it a miss, thanks.”'

Harry was confused. Draco's words about the book didn't hurt him. He knew his writing wasn't exactly literary genius, but hadn't he recognised the scene in the bathroom? It had literally happened in the toilets of this very pub not too long ago. It remained one of Harry's hottest memories of the two of them and Draco didn't even remember it. Now _that_ hurt.

Not that Harry _wanted_ Draco to realise he'd broadcast their sex life to the world while sitting in a pub surrounded by their friends. But still. He needed more booze.

More drinks were handed out and, thankfully, talk soon returned to the normal bantering and teasing. Mainly about Ron and Hermione's upcoming holiday and just how sunburnt Ron was going to get.

Theo and Ginny were off on their travels again, so the goodbyes took longer than usual, but eventually, a slightly tipsy Harry managed to get an equally tipsy Draco through the floo and back home.

As soon as they cleared the fireplace, Harry collapsed onto the sofa and closed his eyes. When the expected bump of Draco joining him never came, Harry opened his eyes to see Draco standing with his arms crossed and a strange look on his face.

“Draco?”

“Where are they?”

“Where are what?”

“The felching books?”

Harry choked. “The what?”

“Don't act like you don't know what I'm on about.” Draco pointed a finger accusingly at Harry. “That bit Pans read out seemed a bit too familiar. Me and you in the pub toilets not six months ago. You said those exact words before you gave me one of the best orgasms of my life.”

Harry laughed in relief that Draco had remembered, before the realisation of what Draco actually said sunk in.

“What exactly do you find funny in this situation?”

Harry stammered out an apology and moved to touch Draco.

Draco put his hand out and Harry fell back onto the sofa. “No. I thought my boyfriend found me irresistible enough that he couldn't wait till we got home. I thought I'd hit the jackpot. A boyfriend who was creative in bed and hot as anything. Never had better sex in my life, and now I find out it was a lie? How much of you is just copied from a bloody two knut knicker-wetting book?”

Harry couldn't speak. He'd had too much alcohol to process Draco's words immediately. Draco thought he was copying what he'd read? What?

“I'm just confused and a little hurt and I think we've had too much to drink to talk about this tonight. You can sleep down here.”

Draco moved to walk past the sofa and Harry quickly grabbed his waist and pulled him onto his lap.

“Harry, let me up!”

“No, Draco, no. It was me, I promise. All me. I find you irresistible all the time and can very rarely wait to get you home. I want to give you all the best orgasms and it's just me. All me.”

Harry was rambling and he knew it. He didn't know _why_ he was determined to make Draco know he wasn't copying someone else, and he didn't realise the mistake he was making till Draco stilled on his lap and turned to look him in the eyes.

“So it's just a coincidence that one of the hottest nights of sex I've ever had is in print, word for word?”

“Yes?” Harry said slowly, elongating the word.

“Fine. I'm too drunk for this. I'm going to bed. You can come, but don't expect any sex. I'm going to sleep.”

~

Harry woke to a fuzzy head and an empty bed. He never liked waking up on his own, and had been hoping for a round of morning sex. As he felt Draco's side of the bed and realised it was cold, Harry remembered what had transpired the previous night. _Bollocks._

Stumbling into the bathroom, Harry found a hangover potion, sorted himself out and went to look for his boyfriend.

Harry found him at the kitchen table, stiff backed and holding that infernal book, crossed wands front and centre. Harry sat down and grabbed Draco's cup of tea, gulping it down. It was cold.

“Do you remember what we agreed to do when we first got together?” Draco said, putting the book down.

“Never have sex in the Manor again?”

“Harry.”

“Sorry.”

“We both agreed that if we wanted this—” Draco gestured between the two of them. “—to succeed, we were never to outright lie to each other. If one of us asks the other something, we can say we'd rather not answer, but under no circumstances were we to lie.”

“I haven't—”

“Bollocks, Harry. I popped out to pick this up this morning and skimmed it. It's basically us. Our sex life, there in black and white. You promised me—”

“I never lied. Okay, maybe a little one—”

“It's not little!”

“I only lied when you asked if it was a coincidence.”

“What?”

“It's me, Draco. Well, us. This—” Harry took the book from Draco. “'—is literally us.”

“Explain.”

Harry held out his hand. “Joshua Starkweather; nice to meet you.”

“This isn't funny.”

“Sorry; you know what I'm like when I'm under stress. Stupid jokes and rambling. I can't help it. Hermione says it's from being a writer, but I think she's talking out of her arse. See, here I go again.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That's me. I wrote that book, and all the others in the series. I'm Joshua Starkweather and I write erotic fiction. Well, it's not so much fiction as it's mainly inspired by us. Erotic novels, porn, whatever you want to call it—”

Draco held up his hand to shut Harry up.

“You're saying that all of our friends, the wizarding population and Molly bloody Weasley have read what is essentially our sex life, and no one knows you wrote it?”

Harry nodded. “Hermione obviously knows. I was never going to tell anyone I wrote them so no one would ever know it was us. But I am so sorry. Please forgive me and I promise I will never write another book—”

Draco's sudden burst of laughter stopped Harry in his tracks. “Draco? You okay?”

“This is brilliant!”

Of all the responses Harry was expecting, that wasn't anywhere near the top of the list.

“Huh?”

“I knew writing text books wasn't that lucrative. I didn't know what it was you were doing. I never imagined it was this! How could you keep this from me? I could have helped!”

“'Um, you did?” Harry was beyond confused. “You're not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? You know I'd gladly tell the world what great sex we have. Did you forget about my exhibitionist kink?” Draco laughed and gestured at the book. “Well, obviously not judging by that chapter in the changing room. That was hot… I am torn, though.”

“About what?”

“I want to keep this between us. It's quite hot, thinking of the world getting turned on by our escapades, but a small part of me wants to see Ron's face when he realises his mother has been doing the same.”

Harry laughed. Why was he ever worried?

Draco stood up and pulled his shirt off over his head.

“Um, Draco? What are you doing?”

“I'm helping. Come on, _Steve_ , you've got a sequel to write.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please support the author by clicking on the kudos button and leaving a comment below! ♥


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